Winter Soldes

Friday again! Ok while it is only really Wednesday, my class schedule says it is Friday. It is also laundry day which I absolutely loathe. I literally packed enough pairs of Hanky Pankies to last three months without doing laundry, but I am very proud to report that I am out of gym clothes!! While our perfect Parisian apartment came complete with the scariest washing machine ever, I am going to attempt to brave the laundry mat down the street. Our washing machine is located right next to our mini shower in the bathroom and looks like it could do some major damage to my expensive American jeans. In addition, using this washer would require me to either air dry everything I own by hanging it all over the apartment or use the microwave Uncle Buck style. I have been gearing up for laundry day for a week now…I know it will require serious enthusiasm which I currently lack. I stopped by the laundry place a few days ago to soak up the clean clothes vibe hoping it would motivate me and all I got was a big fat whiff of cigarette smoke. I looked over and there was a guy puffing away right there amongst the dryers. Um…ew. In addition, the laundry directions are in French so I will be dropping my Euros into the machine and saying a little prayer that everything comes out in one piece. There is a small part of me hoping that everything comes out pink and shrunken as that will mean SHOPPING!!

January marks the happiest time of year in Paris… the winter soldes (sales). People flock from near and far to take part in this religious experience. Everywhere your eyes look there are 30%, 50%, 70% off signs. It’s like they are begging me to buy and I would hate to disappoint! I have made a wish list that includes a pair of over the knee black stiletto boots, a Vanessa Bruno tote, and a furry hat circa Dr. Zhivago. I saw an impeccably posh mademoiselle wearing this exact outfit at the Metro station yesterday. I swear if she was not a double zero I would have asked to buy the outfit right off of her chain smoking little frame. I have done my research on these so called sales and my strategy is as follows:

(1) Shop early and often. The best merchandise goes quickly, but prices are slashed daily. So really I need to shop every single day to get the best bang for my buck.

(2) Dress lightly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with stripping down in the entranceway of Burberry…if the shirt is 80% off. January is the only time of year where this behavior is appropriate and encouraged.

(3) Don’t carry too many bags as you might need free hands to fight off other shoppers. Just because you saw the strappy Manolos first does not mean they are yours. You must dive for those suckers! If you insist on bringing your oversized Birkin, consider carrying some mace.

(4) Make 100% sure that you want to buy. Lets be honest, my French sucks. I don’t know how to say “I would like to return xyz”. My personal mantra: “All sales are final”.

Our plan is to head to either Bordeaux or the French Riviera this weekend. Something tells me that Cannes will not be as glamorous as I had imagined in my down coat and sneaks. I might have to vote for Bordeaux as wine is always fashionable regardless of the weather! Oooohhh la la… such difficult decisions for this American girl!